through tears for my Vincy

Vincy is progressing Kate.
He's beginning to repeat more words using TWO syllables now.
I know it probably doesn't sound like much to you, but it's BIG for my Vincy.
Oh and today he swam during one of his therapies. I looked through the window and it made me very happy because he was happy. I love it when my boy is happy. tear, tear... I guess i just feel so overwhelmed lately at making sure i teach him what's right and acceptable in the social realm of life that i don't have time to enjoy him sometimes because it's a constant lecture. I hate it, but i want him to learn to hit his giant exercise ball instead of me or Wesley or Jeff. And i want him not to throw things around because he might break people's stuff or HURT someone. I'm just so stressed and it's just hard to focus on my son instead of all his issues sometimes.

You see deep down inside i know I'm being the best Mommy for him, however when my emotions get the best of me, i feel so lost in this task of rearing a child that needs that extra-mile-worth of work. feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

That was a mouthful!

On the contrary i am also learning to have more of a routine in our home in order to make life easier for Vincy and to make life easier for us because of Vincy. It's good for me!!! since it's a challenge for me to deliberately do things on a daily basis that need to be done.

I still love being a mom... ha ha, that sounds funny, but it's true! For a change, i felt a glimmer of light rest on my path that will l am walking along, hand in hand with my boy. My challenge brings tears to my eyes and makes me happy, happy, happy! You see i do not always feel happy about all that i am doing almost all the time cuz it's really butt-kicking hard! Half the time i feel like I am being TOO strict and that i am not listening enough and that i am just being a robot doing my task. I love being conscious of what i a doing. So being in go, go, go, do, do, do mode scares me. I feel like i loose myself and that i my grip on my negative emotions begins to slip.

The lesson i am learning Kate is that i am going to loose hold. But today, through the tears i often cry (because of but mostly for my Vincy) i'm beginning to see that being an imperfect good mommy will be beneficial to him in the end.

I love you Kate.
You are my favourite Kate-sister in the whole wide world!

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